NOTES FROM THE CLOSET

WHEN THE LITTLE BIRDIES COME BACK TO THE NEST

Ivy is coming home. SHE IS COMING HOME. This is not her first time back from Brown and I promise you, the fact that it’s only for a short while before she zips off to New York City and then to Tennessee for a very prestigious writing workshop (what? I’m a mother! I earned the bragging rights), it does not matter even a little bit. Every single time she walks back through that door it is the best day (even if I am a teensy bit jealous of the rest of her summer in NYC). I don’t know how to explain it except to say, the house just comes back to life.

Here’s what my life actually looks like when she’s away: I am in Dallas. It is 97 degrees outside and it is not even July yet. I’m working non-stop from the closet and when I go out, I make it count, both with the outfits I’m wearing and the people I’m seeing. Michael is working. Eli is doing his thing around town. And Olive, our dog and otherwise known as the Queen of our house, is vibrating on the couch because she hears a garbage truck rumbling down the street.

I work from home. Which means the energy of this house is something I am very, very aware of. When Ivy is here, there’s a particular charge to it. Someone else is getting ready in the morning. Music from another room. A reason to come out of the closet, metaphorically and literally, and to interact with a human being who isn’t on a screen.

So when Ivy texted that she was coming home before Montreal (did I mention we are making a documentary about my mother and her art?). I felt it immediately. That particular lift.

If you have kids who’ve flown the nest and are now boomeranging back whether for the weekend or the summer, for internships, jobs, for their friends or just because they need a home base, I see you. This one’s for us. The thing nobody tells you about empty nesting is that it isn’t one feeling. It’s about forty feelings, sometimes in the same afternoon. You miss them desperately. You also find yourself. And then they come back, and both things are still true, and now there are shoes by the front door again and your bathroom counter has somehow doubled in product.

Of course, I’m not the only one thrilled with her being back in the house…Eli is happy to have his sister home. There’s just something special about siblings. They get you. I love having them both home. And I mean this: watching who they are becoming is one of the great privileges of my life.

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HANGER APPEAL

THE INFAMOUS CLOSET CLEAN OUT

So, I have finally begun what I’m calling the Big Purge. It’s not exactly a closet clean-out, because let’s be real, I have a daughter and she has needs. But I’ve noticed my needs have evolved as well. I find myself leaning into a cleaner, more architectural version of myself (settle down sister, it’s my version or minimalism!) Case in point, many of the Mrs. Roper-style muumuus have found their way out of the closet and onto a rack. They maybe haven’t made it out of the house yet, but baby steps people. Then there’s the Ivy racks. Not rack, racks. And let me tell you why. Mainly, what I wouldn’t give for my mum’s 1970’s white bell bottom pantsuit. Also, within approximately 36 seconds of Ivy walking through the door, she was in my closet. Obviously.

She knows that closet better than some people know their own home. We have been raiding it together, trading pieces, fighting over pieces, discovering pieces I forgot I owned, for years. And here is what I want every mother of a fashion-aware daughter to hear: let them in. Let them play. Because nine times out of ten, your kid is going to pick up something you haven’t touched in three years, put it on, and you are going to think, Oh, that looks much better on her. Ivy has her own eye now. A still developing, and gaining-confidence eye. College has done something interesting to her style and I am here for all of it.

Now let’s get into summer internship dressing for the youth. Because I have a lot to say and what use is the wisdom of aging if we don’t give it to our children. Check out my full list here.

1. The shirt dress is your best friend. One piece. No coordination required. You walk out the door looking like you tried without trying. It works in an office, it works at dinner, it works in the Dallas heat when you cannot possibly think about putting together a look. If you have a kid heading into an internship this summer and you want to do one thing, find her a great shirt dress.

2. Stripes are my religion in summer. Classic navy and white is always correct but don’t be afraid to add a pop of something unexpected. Lime. Coral. A hit of color that makes the whole thing feel alive. I have been saying this for years and I will keep saying it: summer is more fun with color. That is not a suggestion. That is a fact.

3. The palazzo pants are underrated for work. A great wide-leg palazzo in a solid: navy, white, a deep moss green, is elegant, cool in the heat, and looks incredibly polished. Pair it with a simple tucked tank or a crisp button-down and your intern is the most stylish person in the room. Trust me on this. Pair with a comfortable platform sandal underneath and you are good to go.

4. The wrist is an underrated source of charm and I mean it. A three-quarter sleeve, a rolled cuff, a bracelet stacked just right, revealing the wrist is something people underestimate enormously. For an intern who wants to look polished but also interesting? A great cuff or a stack of bangles on an otherwise simple outfit does the whole job. And yet, if there is too much clickety-clank, you might have to consider pairing back a smidge, lest a co-worker calls HR.

5. And for you, not your kid: Don’t put the fun version of yourself on hold because the house is full again. You worked to find her. She’s not going anywhere just because summer arrived. Get dressed. Wear the thing. Listen to your gut, it has never once steered you wrong.

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WHAT’S FEEDING ME

FORGET WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK

My mother always said, “Nobody’s going to make you happy but yourself, so you better go and do it.” That sentence has lived in my head for decades.

What I’ve been thinking about lately, especially with both my kids off doing their own thing, is how much I want that both for Ivy and Eli. Not happiness handed to them but the kind they build themselves.

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CURRENT CRUSHES

I COULD DRINK A CASE OF YOU DARLING (CANADA)

Did I mention (I know I did but I’m just so damn excited that it’s finally happening) we - Michael, me and the kids- are heading to Montreal this week to shoot the documentary about Charlotte and her art. I’m stressed and excited and also nostalgic about all things Canada.

Definitely taking the kids to the Orange Julep, which is a giant orange ball of a hot dog pit stop with the best orange drinks on earth.

I suspect it’s far more nostalgic for me than it is thrilling for Eli and Ivy, but too bad. Mother is revisiting her youth. As a teenager, I drove there in my mother’s enormous burgundy Oldsmobile, locked myself out in the parking lot, and promptly decided my life was over because she was on vacation in Barbados.

Thankfully, a strange man appeared out of nowhere with a crowbar and opened the door. To this day, I still wonder why he was casually walking around with a crowbar… but I remain grateful for his services.

Our family is perpetually perplexed that there are no really good authentic Jewish delis in Dallas. We are picking up Snowdon deli and taking it to my mum’s for brunch. Snowdon deli is an institution in Montreal. Smoke meat sandwiches, corned beef, cream cheese, bagel and lox, eggplant, gefilte fish, matzoh ball soup…and we can’t forget the party sandwiches. Need I say more? My mouth is already watering.

Hanging out with Ivy and Charlotte, both poets, has me thinking about this quote “Poetry is just the evidence of life. If your life is burning well, poetry is just the ash.” From the (Canadian) singer/songwriter Leonard Cohen who started his career as a writer.

Lastly, listening to the Joni Mitchell album, Blue from beginning to end, in order. She is a genius (Canadian…see the theme here) and each time I hear something new. And yes, Canada, I could drink a case of you, darling. See you soon.

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DEAR CARLA

GROWING INTO YOUR STYLE

From fashion SOS moments to everyday dilemmas, ask me anything right here. Thank you readers for all of your questions and comments! This week a question about growing your personal style.

From Madeleine:

First off, I love you! I’m 24 and in a period of transition. I’m trying to take myself more seriously and some of the clothes in my closet don’t resonate with me anymore. What pieces should I pick up if I want to focus on creating dramatic shapes modestly?

Dear Madeleine,

Aw, thanks honey! I love that I inspire the younger set, and thank you for being along for the ride.

Personal style is a lifelong journey, and trust me, you’ll have many versions of yourself over the years. At your stage, it makes perfect sense to start building a few foundational pieces that support you as a young grown-up while still leaving room for your personality to shine through.

You never have to sacrifice your personal touch in the name of “grown-up dressing.” Think of the clothing as your canvas and the accessories as your paint.

A shirtdress is always a wonderful place to start. Pick one up in navy, incredibly chic and endlessly versatile. Then make it your own. If you like delicate jewelry, layer a few fine necklaces. If you’re more maximalist like me, pile on a bold bracelet or a fabulous earring for a pop of color and personality. A scarf or an interesting bag can completely change the mood of the look.

As you build your wardrobe, focus on pieces that work hard for you: a great pair of jeans (and yes, the barrel-leg silhouette is absolutely here to stay), a blazer with an unexpected detail, and pieces you can dress up or down depending on your mood.

Style is not about looking like everyone else. It’s about looking more and more like yourself.

xo

Carla